Cycling is full of peaks and valleys. Some days you get results, some days…well you just want to put the bike away and never ride again.
Last Sunday I capitalized on some really good form, rode hard, got in a break, and finished third against some high quality competition. I was pumped, confident, and proud. I am riding much better than I ever have. Not only can I hang with the local elite riders; I can get away from them too. My ego has grown to an unhealthy level. Case in point: two different riders in the race almost caused me to crash and I blasted them with insults and language that rivaled the most vial of sailors. My reaction was steeped in the fact that I considered myself a “superior” rider because I was faster and therefore had the right to hurl loads of negativity. Their riding was a little reckless, but you have to assume it goes with the territory. They did not deserve what came out of my mouth.
I raced last night as well. I rode hard again, spending the majority of the race on or off the front. My good form and unhealthy ego began to cloud my judgment. With 3 laps to go, I found myself at the back third of the pack. I wanted my finish to reflect the work I put in, so I decided to sneak up the left side of the group as we approached a left hand turn. As the group went wide, I dove into the corner with everything I had. I cut the corner tight and hit my pedal on the ground which startled the group. Insults and four letter words started to erupt from the group as if I had just committed the most unforgivable of sins. To make matters worse, a crash occurred at the back of the group leaving one guy pretty banged up. Whether this was my fault certainly could be debated, but my conscience tells me it was.
One rider, whom I respect highly told me to drop out and then proceeded to lecture me after the race was over about how and how not to ride. “Yes, yes I know,” I told him. “I made a mistake and I’m sorry. I made a very, very bad mistake.” Other riders gathered ’round after the race to talk about what happened. On the one hand they could not refute that I was just as strong as any of the elite riders in the group. On the other hand, I was a indeed reckless and I needed to know that.
This was the first time I have ever been responsible for anything like this. This is because I usually ride at the back or off the back when I race these guys. My form is good enough now for me to race aggressively and I want to do well. I have plenty of criterium racing experience, just not a lot experience with how to actually win a race. Getting a good result requires you to be aggressive. Sometimes it can lead to making very bad decisions. It happens. Still, I feel terrible about it. It also makes me think a lot about how I treated the two riders in Sunday’s race. People make mistakes. Especially cyclists. Just watch the Giro or the Tour of California.
I take a lot from this experience. Most importantly:
- Treat all riders with respect.
- Don’t let your ego cloud your judgment.
- If you make a mistake take responsibility, apologize, and move on. AND,
- Don’t put the bike away, no matter what. This too will pass.
I may not race another criterium anytime soon, but you can be sure that I will never repeat this mistake again. Sometimes it takes a little humiliation to get you to pay attention.
Ride on. mb